Career Move Dilemma: Comfortable or Lazy?

I go through the same routine week to week. Work.. work..work... lounge..work... relax... party... drink....work. I graduated from school and still have yet to get a better job. The job I have now isn't the greatest. Sometimes it boring and other times it can stress me out. But I don't blame anyone for my laziness. I'm comfortable. Being comfortable is a dangerous thing. I'm the kind of person that takes action when there is no other choice. Its like I keep saying I'm going to leave and search for something better. But instead of inviting change in, I lock it out. Thousands of dollars spent on school and I worked my butt off for that money. I don't know what I'm scared of. I love writing and eating. I also love interacting with and talking to people. I love being active and making someone smile even if it's for a brief moment. But why cant I get out of this funk? Sometimes I think I need to just get up and quit so that I have no other choice. Not the smartest move, right? I feel deep down that the perfect job is out there for me but it isn't going to find me I have to hunt it down. Every time I get to an application online I make excuses. My resume needs to be updated and revamped. I need a cover letter. Are they ever going to get my application? I'm just one in millions of people looking for a job. What are the odds that they'll choose me. I know its excuse after excuse. But I have to put myself out there. Show the world who Anya is...... But maybe I'm not ready for them to see me yet.

Love: Time after Time

So yesterday was my anniversary. 3 months, not a year or anything. But I don't get the whole thing behind the anniversary. The whole bit about the first year is you have to get the person a paper gift or something. Whatever. Maybe its because my relationships never lasted that long so there was never a reason to celebrate. Which sounds pretty crappy but isn't. When your in a relationship it feels good, right? Everything is going well. You're in "love". But then something happens. You look past the singing birds and floating hearts and realize that it's not that great. He doesn't call you. Or maybe he calls you too much. He doesn't take you out or doesn't show you enough attention. It could be anything.

But then I think about how busy life can get and sometimes you need an excuse to look at the person you love and do something nice for them. Its like birthdays and Christmas and all those other man made holidays where you send a gift or buy a card. It reminds you to treat the person you love special even though we should be doing things everyday to show our appreciation. But look I get it. There aren't enough hours in the day or days in a year to get everything we want accomplished. I'm not judging you. Well anyway tell me what you think. What are some good ideas for couples to do for there anniversary? If your the traditional type then you can even break it down by 6 month, a year, 2nd year.....

Interesting Fact : Zodiac

I just found out I was born in the year the Cougar..LOL.. I mean Tiger. Supposedly this describes me. According to Wikipedia I'm a fire Tiger.

Tiger (Yang, 3rd Trine, Fixed Element Wood): Unpredictable, rebellious, colorful, powerful, passionate, daring, impulsive, vigorous, stimulating, sincere, affectionate, humanitarian, generous. Can be restless, reckless, impatient, quick-tempered, obstinate, selfish, aggressive, unpredictable.

I got this from another site. The search continues......

Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy. They can be extremely short-tempered, however. Other people have great respect for them, but sometimes tiger people come into conflict with older people or those in authority. sometimes Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in a poor, hasty decision or a sound decision arrived at too late. They are suspicious of others, but they are courageous and powerful. Tigers are most compatible with Horses, Dragons, and Dogs.

Friends, family, strangers. What do you think? Whats your zodiac year?

Interracial Dilemma

Color...Blind (8-18-09)

Black and white

Sometimes Gray

Hate in words

Come my way

White in flesh

Brown in Skin

Internal love

Springs within

Outward appearances

Forgotten

Condemned

Embraced

Loved

Seems like I have a lot going on. Doesn't it? I am a black woman. I am 50% of an interracial relationship. Why does that bother you? It doesn't bother me in the least. Over the weekend I was disgusted at things that occurred. Black men should be uplifting black women not putting them down. Why are people so ignorant? My life is mine to live. How about you stop worrying about me and find some happiness of your own. If your not ignorant then this doesn't apply to you. For all the haters. You push me so that I better myself, mentally and physically, little by little each day. Thank you.

Psychic Encounter

I remember walking one day and this psychic asked me if I wanted a reading. I said no. I was talking on the phone I think. I was crossing the street and she decided to 'read' me anyway. She told me even though I smile like everything is okay that I was covering up something inside. Something she said about me not being happy. All I could do was say I'm happy with a smile. I felt kind of weird saying it because it was like I was saying it more for myself then for her. Then I was angry. I felt offended like who the hell are you to tell me I'm not happy. Then I started going through the things in life that made me happy. I had a job. I had friends. I was in my last semester at school and I was feeling good. But maybe she was a little right. Maybe there was something I was hiding inside and even though I didn't want to believe what she said it was true. I don't consider myself an overly religious person but I consider myself a spiritual person and I believe in God. I also believe in the supernatural ,things that are unexplained by reason or science. I'm not saying I believe in every corner side psychic but some people can sense things. I mean humans have instincts and feelings. But looking back now I think the psychic was right, just a little. There was something inside that I was covering up with a smile. I think sometimes events happen in our life that make us stronger. My close friends know what I'm talking about. One friend found out after a drunken tearful night of white wine overdose. LOL. That wine is no joke, seriously. But life constantly changes and eventually good things happen to good people. Good things have been happening to me.

Laziness..

I've been pretty lazy these past few months. I'm just taking everything in. Whats so wrong with taking some time to enjoy the accomplishments in my life. I graduated in May, Sianara Bklyn College. Konnichiwa real world. Everybody is asking what do you want to do next? Have you been looking for a new job? And as messed up as it is I haven't really started. I'm in a dangerous place now. I'm just do damn comfortable. Everything is good. Good not great and I'm lazy. For the first time today I realized that I'm scared of success. It sounds stupid right? I think so. But I'm scared of change and what new things will bring, the good and the bad. I haven't been able to make the first step. It's funny. I feel positive like everything will work out for me eventually but I haven't made the first move. My passion is writing. So I should be writing everyday. I don't. I want to be a food critique and I'm not sure how to do that. There's no school for that. Just classes. Very expensive classes that meet once a week. I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.

Spontaneous Months In Advance

Spontaneity before the situation arises. Lets start from what brought this on. We all make excuses for the things we do. I like to shop ever so often and treat myself. Yes I know its a recession but that doesn't mean I have to be depressed. At any minute that could have been me on the unemployment line because it almost was. Trust me it isn't a good feeling. You feel lost like you have no control and you try to cling to friends and family for support. But anyway back to the shopaholic topic. So yeah I was shopping online. Love to shop online..lol.. so I saw a sexy dress and a cute jump suit for the spring. Excuse #1 the jumpsuit is something I can dress up or down and wear on a lot of occasions. Excuse #2 the sexy little black dress i bought can be a party outfit for my birthday...even.....though...it is.....a month......and a half...away. But so what? My excuses help me sleep at night..lol... Do yours? :)

Soul Mate

On the search for a soul mate
A mate to touch my soul
Someone to stop the stalemate
Of the worthless men before

Just a little bit of poetry...a taste..a tease..something to keep you coming back :)